Name: Knies
Pronouns: He/They
Nickname: Kneeeeeees
Hometown: Eugene, Ignoregon
Height: 6′ minus the thickness of nike air force soles
Weight: 4-5 sacks of lentils
RAS: 6+2i
Favorite frisbee player: Dylan Freechild
Favorite drink: Celsius Latte
Favorite stink: Malt O Meal factory smell 🤤
Favorite real sport: downhill ski racing
Favorite quote: “if you’re bored you can simply rotate a cow in your mind. it’s free and the cops can’t stop you.”
Bowling High Score: how many points do you get for getting a strike in the wrong lane
Personal Achievements: I can eat a nature valley bar with near 0% crumb spillage.
Number of 12-year-olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: maybe 1. those lil gremlins are vicious.
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for CHOP): last year i serenated a group of frat boys with an accordion in an attempt to steal their new years party snacks.
Personal Anecdote: once i assembled an ikea dresser flawlessly without any instructions. i am still awaiting my victory certificate from the swedish prime minister.
Favorite YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HguKPVgIZL8