Name: Austin Sorscher

Nickname: Scorch

Hometown: Chapel Hill, NC

Height: 6 feet on a humid day

Weight: 175 kilos at most

Favorite Republican: abe 

Favorite GoP Alum: Dave Barbeau ’97

Favorite CUTboy: David O’Darg

Favorite Syzygite: clara h-n 

Favorite Eclipser: new phone who dis?

Favorite Hot Karl: all of them 

Favorite Nova: clara mccurds 

Favorite Drink: grapefruit juice

Bowling High Score: 113

Personal Achievements: I got a job interview once

Favorite Quote: “yar darg” – anonymous

Favorite Real Sport: four square

Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: 2

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): i’ve stolen a sign or three

Favorite YouTube video: all this guy’s videos