Name: Austin Sorscher
Nickname: Scorch
Hometown: Chapel Hill, NC
Height: 6 feet on a humid day
Weight: 175 kilos at most
Favorite Republican: abe
Favorite GoP Alum: Dave Barbeau ’97
Favorite CUTboy: David O’Darg
Favorite Syzygite: clara h-n
Favorite Eclipser: new phone who dis?
Favorite Hot Karl: all of them
Favorite Nova: clara mccurds
Favorite Drink: grapefruit juice
Bowling High Score: 113
Personal Achievements: I got a job interview once
Favorite Quote: “yar darg” – anonymous
Favorite Real Sport: four square
Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: 2
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): i’ve stolen a sign or three
Favorite YouTube video: all this guy’s videos https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA