Sam Tucker Profile Picture

Name: Sam Tucker

Nickname: Tucker

Height: 5′ 10″, plays like 5′ 5″

Weight: 180

Bra Size: Goldberg

Favorite Position: Left of the dealer

Favorite Republican: Jack Donaghy

Favorite GoP Alums: Rob Atlas and David Schmidt

Favorite CUTboy: Justin/Simon

Favorite Syzygite: Laura Karson

Favorite Eclipser: Katie Benson

Favorite Drink: FresKa

Bowling High Score: Over 250 on candystand back in middle school.

Personal Achievements: Forcing a (4 way) draw in Diplomacy with only one piece left. I forced England to keep me alive to hold a stalemate line on in the Mediterranean and through Scandinavia. 0->Death comboing Pete Berg in Smash Bros.

Favorite Quote: “When will modern science find a cure for a woman’s mouth.”

Favorite Real Sport: Koob

Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: With higher ground, 8 or 9.

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Telling Nate that if the Red Scare were made up of zombies, it would be the Dead Scare.

Personal Anecdote: I had a similar experience to that of the cockroach in Kafka’s Metamorphosis… except I turned into a butterfly. One of those really frilly and flamboyant ones.