Name: Sam Rosenberg

Nickname: Scarface

Height: 5’9″

Weight: 1.44% of the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Bra Size: …

Favorite Position: The jockey

Favorite Republican: Kyle “Gator” Markwalter

Favorite GoP Alum: Dr. Ethan Bernstein

Favorite CUTboy: Will Herold

Favorite Syzygite: Laura Karson

Favorite Eclipser: Lucina Robinson

Favorite Drink: Whiskey sour

Personal Achievements: I made it to the front page of Reddit

Favorite Real Sport: Video games

Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: Two, possibly 3

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Offered to be one of GoP’s designated drivers Hallowinona.

Favorite YouTube video: