Name: Sam
Nickname: Slim
Height: 6′ 3″ in heels
Weight: 8 stones, ~1.2 stoners
Bra Size: #freenips
Favorite Position: Dining Services Assistant
Favorite Republican: Abraham Fucking Lincoln
Favorite GoP Alum: Gil Eisbruch, Straight outta Ann Arbor
Favorite CUTboy: Sol Yanucklehead
Favorite Syzygite: Emma Nicosia and I have a bond forged in carrot dirt.
Favorite Eclipser: I love literally each and every one of them from the bowels of my heart.
Favorite Drink: Communion Wine
Favorite Cookie Flavor: I love literally each and every one of them from the bowels of my heart.
Bowling High Score: I threw a turkey once and have yet to return to a bowling alley
Personal Achievements: Born. (December 1994) Spoke a word. (October 2000) Took a step. (May 2008)
Favorite Quotation (preferably from D-Mac[although if you don’t know who D-Mac is, feel free to use any gopper): Wanna frolf? -Champ
Favorite Real Sport: Skipping rocks
Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: One half, preferably the lower one.
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): One time I went an entire day without speaking. I believe it really gave me a taste of what it means to be dumb.
Personal Anecdote: I’m a recovering vegetarian and avoid fruits and vegetables at all costs to prevent relapses.
Favorite YouTube video: All of Ke$ha’s music videos.