Name: Noah

Nickname: Ribz

Height: 17 hands

Weight: buck fiddy-five

Hometown: Minneapolis, MN

Favorite Position: Enforcer

Favorite Republican: Kevin Bacon

Favorite GoP Alum: Colin Froines

Favorite CUTboy: That one from North Carolina

Favorite Syzygite: That one from Seattle

Favorite Eclipser: all of em

Favorite Drink: grape soda

Bowling High Score: Probably better than Saul’s

Personal Achievements: 21 years. zero cavities.

Favorite Quote: “Some L’s are W’s”

Favorite Real Sport: College Basketball

Number of 12 year-olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: Probably more than Saul

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): declined a free ice cream sundae in 3rd grade. Mom was ANGRY about that one.

Personal Anecdote: Won MVP of my little league team despite batting .130

Favorite YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sA279cUsl8DHwH8Q-M