
Name: Paul Ready
Nickname: Freddie Ready
Hometown: Cake Eater City
Height: Not enough
Weight: Too much
Favorite Position: On the fence
Favorite Republican: Honest Abe (Eichner)
Favorite GoP Alum: Fruit Pooch
Favorite CUTboy: Alex Kucich <3
Favorite Syzygite: It’s pronounced stalagmite
Favorite Eclipser: All of the above
Favorite Drink: Warm Milk
Bowling High Score: 301
Personal Achievements: Maxed out a Bop-It
Favorite Quote: “Did that kid just max out a Bop-It?” – ESPN
Favorite Real Sport: Bop-It
Number of 12-year-olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: That’s like 84 in dog years, I don’t hit the elderly
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): I left my GameCube plugged in for two days and it melted and I lost all my Monkey Ball progress.
Personal Anecdote: I wet the bed until 9 years old. I only stopped because I was gonna have to upsize to adult diapers.
Favorite YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDC5zyPYwHM