Name: Colby King
Nickname: Colbus
Hometown: Jackson Hole, Wyoming
Height: 1.933×10^-16 light years
Weight: 1.09 Felixes
Favorite Position: Next to Ben 😉
Favorite Republican: Dick Cheney’s granddaughter
Favorite GoP Alum: Jeremy Hills
Favorite CUTboy: Mickey Walsh
Favorite Syzygite: They’re too scary to talk to
Favorite Eclipser: Emma Leither
Favorite Karl: Iaiiaiaiaiiiiaaan mCcAy
Favorite Nova: Dubinsky
Favorite Drink: Black coffee
Bowling High Score: 4 or 5
Personal Achievements: Wasn’t last place in fantasy football, as was projected, and notably beat he who predicted I would be last.
Favorite Quote: “If you come to us with a 100 dollar bill, we’re not going to give you 2,000 nickels. Unless you want them…”
Favorite Real Sport: Chess Boxing
Number of 12-year-olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: 35, assuming the 12-year-olds are combined into one big 12-year-old and then condensed down to a much more manageable size.
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Asked for extra ketchup with my to-go Sprite from McDonald’s. Threw said ketchup packets at oncoming traffic.
Personal Anecdote: Graduated high school with my favorite republican
Favorite YouTube video: https://youtu.be/zMZePZM28V0