Name: Malcom

Nickname: Milk

Hometown: New York City

Height: 5’11” on a good day

Weight: a buck shy of 160

Favorite Position: In bed

Favorite Republican: John Huntsman

Favorite GoP Alum: Dat Bodfrey

Favorite CUTboy: ET phone home

Favorite Syzygite: Elaine, she’s just the best

Favorite Eclipser: lunar

Favorite Drink: Dogfish Head 90-minute IPA

Bowling High Score: 158

Personal Achievements: two-time GoP fall captain, practically invented the position

Favorite Quote: “Danke Quinn” – everyone on GoP

Favorite Real Sport: Century pong

Number of 12 year olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: 8.5

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Accidentally walked into a woman’s bathroom at the airport

Personal Anecdote: I’ll never look at a box of curly fries the same way

Favorite YouTube video: