Cowboys need their rest.

Name: David Schmidt

Nickname: Schmidty or The Aryan Fist

Height: 6’1 (ish); tall enough to think I should be able to dunk without actually coming all that close

Weight: 165 before dinner, 170 afterwards

Bra Size: 36A, but at least they’re perky

Favorite Position: big spoon

Favorite Republican: Larry Craig… If only I had been in the right bathroom at the right time…

Favorite GoP Alum: Tie between Yui and BJJ

Favorite Drink: My spring concert punch

Bowling High Score: app. 130

Personal Achievements: Autographed a cow

Favorite Quotes:

D-Mac: Would you rather be madly in love and dating the girl of your dreams, or be able to fly any time your BAC was .25 or higher?

Me: uh…
D-Mac: what about .08 or higher. That way if you ever couldn’t drive home, you’d know it and it wouldn’t matter!

D -Mac: “Hey Oto, remember that time I smashed a bottle on your head?”
Oto: “I see the bottle in your hand”
D-Mac (disappointed): “You’re very perceptive…”

Favorite Real Sport: Football to watch, I’ll play anything, and usually be barely mediocre at it

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Crystal.

Personal Anecdote: Someone once asked me if I had ever played whiskey slaps before.

“Yeah,” I said, “Why?”
“I thought so…”