Name: David Schmidt
Nickname: Schmidty or The Aryan Fist
Height: 6’1 (ish); tall enough to think I should be able to dunk without actually coming all that close
Weight: 165 before dinner, 170 afterwards
Bra Size: 36A, but at least they’re perky
Favorite Position: big spoon
Favorite Republican: Larry Craig… If only I had been in the right bathroom at the right time…
Favorite GoP Alum: Tie between Yui and BJJ
Favorite Drink: My spring concert punch
Bowling High Score: app. 130
Personal Achievements: Autographed a cow
Favorite Quotes:
D-Mac: Would you rather be madly in love and dating the girl of your dreams, or be able to fly any time your BAC was .25 or higher?
Me: uh…
D-Mac: what about .08 or higher. That way if you ever couldn’t drive home, you’d know it and it wouldn’t matter!
D -Mac: “Hey Oto, remember that time I smashed a bottle on your head?”
Oto: “I see the bottle in your hand”
D-Mac (disappointed): “You’re very perceptive…”
Favorite Real Sport: Football to watch, I’ll play anything, and usually be barely mediocre at it
Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GOP): Crystal.
Personal Anecdote: Someone once asked me if I had ever played whiskey slaps before.
“Yeah,” I said, “Why?”
“I thought so…”