’22 Aidan Wolff – King

Name: AidAn Wolff-King

Nickname: Doge-Lord, Aiden, Adrian

Hometown: Exeter, NH

Height: 4.1 cubits

Weight: 2.5 Talents

Favorite Position: assuming, the

Favorite Republican: Jeb!

Favorite GoP Alum: Mike (Ebako) Wazowski

Favorite CUTboy: Alex Ku(t)cich

Favorite Syzygite: Nariahbelle Sims

Favorite Eclipser: the one that was over my house

Favorite Drink: 1L coarse ground Colombian French press coffee in a New Hampshire mug

Bowling High Score: is this like golf where high is low? ~100

Personal Achievements: I can drive a forklift and also swallow pills dry

Favorite Quote: “¡WhoDoYouThinkYouAreIAM!”

Favorite Real Sport: rowing (whose reality is also in question)

Number of 12-year-olds you realistically think you could beat up at once: idk man they know how to fight dirty at that point…maybe 1

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done (other than playing for GoP): done the thing where you drop your phone on your face but a computer

Personal Anecdote: I am related to Axe Murderess Lizzie Borden