by Shavera Seneviratne (’13)
Three months later…
While I was unpacking after having moved into my new apartment, I came across a box that contained a file for every single English class I took at Carleton. Of course this meant that I had to immediately begin reminiscing while looking through each and every one of those files. This led to an entire two hours filled with fond nostalgia and four years’ worth of Second Laird memories. It was also a moment to finally appreciate the feeling of post-graduation accomplishment.
One of the acknowledgements listed in my comps presentation last May, was to the English department as a whole “for giving me the skills to accomplish a dream”. That dream was to have the opportunity to extensively study and write a significant piece of work on the poetry of John Keats. This comes as no surprise to a lot of my friends and fellow majors as it was all I talked about since I arrived at Carleton. However, it is only now, when I look back at my initial fumbling attempts at critical analyses that I can fully appreciate how far the English Department helped me achieve this dream. So this is to all the current majors and to-be majors as you begin the new year – I hope there is something useful you can find in this ramble of mine.
Flipping through those files and studying the range of classes that I took, I now realize how artfully the major is structured. The extent to which you are challenged in each class is increased ever so slightly in such a way that each will prepare you for the next level. I remember stepping into Methods of Critical Analysis with some trepidation, wondering how on earth I was going to cope with theory and not a set list of books or poems that we would read. Little did I realize that firstly, the theory would be learned through close analysis of works of fiction and poetry and secondly, by the end of the class I would become a lover of theory and understand how much more colourful my interpretations could now be. In turn, this made taking an Advanced Seminar an absolute joy. More often than not, I would leave class with my mind buzzing and too many ideas to work into a paper.
Another realization I came to was exactly how grateful I am for the constructive criticism I received from my professors. Yes, I’ll admit that at the time, looking though comments and grades, still keyed up on too much coffee and too little sleep, all I wondered was if I could ever live up to the high expectations that appeared to be expected of us. Now, I can readily admit that the tough love worked. I have become a better and more concise writer, a more effective communicator and unafraid to assert my voice in a scholarly conversation.
All this inevitably leads me to comps. Ah yes, the big ‘C’ word and what feels like a daunting and looming spectre that is bound to make winter term of senior year the most miserable yet (and this is not even counting the below freezing weather). Honestly, it is not as bad as it is made out to be. If there is one vital piece of advice I can give to any English major it is to pick a subject that you love, to comps on. Yes, there will be acute writer’s block with the worst timing, entire weekends spent in the library and the feeling that you have spent so much time thinking about your topic that there is not another original thought left. But when you are working on a subject that intrigues you, the reward at the end is worth every second of effort you will put into it. Every class I had taken, every lesson I had learned and every office hour I had gone to finally led me to my own personal pot of gold; a research paper that I can be proud of and the confidence that I can pursue my career goals with the skills I learned sitting in classrooms of second Laird.
It is exactly three months since I walked across a stage and received a diploma stating that I received a B.A. in English and Theater. That piece of paper also symbolizes the hard work, the sense of success, the incredibly talented and gifted friends I was lucky to work with and a sense of pride at having belonged to a wonderful department. For now I will put those files away in a safe place. Who knows, they could be fun to look at while I’m halfway through grad school.