It’s a new year, and with it comes a new collection of English Majors. To help all of us figure out how to make the most of our time within the department, a new duo of English Department SDAs has been chosen. Introducing Tina Sieben (’18) and Joe Brommel (’18)! They have a vast amount of wisdom to share with those of us who are riddled with questions and concerns, and, as they have proven in the following interview, they both come equipped with a snapping sense of humor.
As SDAs you’ve proven yourselves to be English majors of exceptional merit–what’s your secret to successful English-majoring?
Tina: You know how if you go up to the Laird Attic and remove the right book on the third shelf a panel slides open to reveal a tiny statue of the imp which you can then rub the foot of, as countless generations of successful English majors in the past have, in order to guarantee success? But it’s top secret so if you tell anyone then it won’t work—wait, where did you say these answers are going?
Joe: The secret is definitely not in misremembering the comps proposal deadline and having to (“having to” is almost certainly not the best way of putting it) write the whole thing in less than two hours. Definitely something about tea and good pens. Yeah.
If you could date a fictional character, who would it be and why?
Tina: Wonder Woman. Yeah, being attached to someone who has to save the world would be hard. But let’s review the benefits: 1) I would get an action soundtrack to my life. Which means I could make a sandwich and feel like I’m saving the world. 2) We wouldn’t need Cupid because she is perfectly capable of shooting an arrow through my heart on her own. 3) I’m pretty much guaranteed to survive any world-threatening disaster since Wonder Woman is going to save me first.
Joe: Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. Because, like, if I play my cards right I get to go live forever in Valinor with Gandalf and the whole gang (did a little research for this one—apparently you need “ships capable of passing out of the spheres of the earth” to get there? The Silmarillion is weird shit).
Quick, you’re in control of the English Department for a week. What do you do with your newfound power?
Tina: I’m basing my answer on the assumption that the English Department is expecting me to mess up—to blow the budget on a water slide that will then remain half finished, a reminder to all future students on why one of us is not in charge.
So for the first week, I would do nothing. I’d keep things running smoothly and make sure everyone is happy. And then, at the end of one week, the department will approve me for another week. And then two. And then-—well by then I’m hooked on the power and refuse to vacate my throne of books.
Then, and only then, would I build my water slide.
Joe: Oh, boy. A whole week? Not to show all my cards, but, like, ENGL 357: “We Are There Now” with Prof. Ice Cube is gonna’ pull all the CS majors into 2nd Laird. Come Sunday, we’ll be rolling in so much grant money that the department won’t know what to do with it (but, of course, I’ll know what to do with it—can you say “leather recliners for all senior majors”?).
What are you looking forward to during this last year as English majors?
Tina: I’m looking forward to utilizing everything I’ve learned and studied over the past few years in my comps project. Also, I’m looking forward to working with the new English majors!
Joe: Making my stunning return to the Lennie Small Memorial Softball Field for the annual department softball game. Spending a season on the DL list amongst the Redcoats has done nothing but stoke the flames of the pent-up Americana which I will release, with brutish efficiency, upon the World.
What’s your literary comfort food? (i.e. when your life is a mess and things are crazy, are there any books/types of books you turn to for comfort?)
Tina: Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey. Every time I read Kaur’s book, I have to silently stare out a window contemplating life and processing my emotions. Side note—I AM SO EXCITED FOR HER NEW BOOK TO COME OUT THIS MONTH!
Joe: The Dune series. Even (read: especially) the weird one where the main character is a 4,000-year-old sandworm demigod thing. After reading all six of those books, I can generate sci-fi technobabble off the top of my head fairly indefinitely. It’s a surprisingly useful skill.
What’s your favorite quote by a well-known author and why?
Tina: I tried and failed to find the perfect quote; I’m sorry. But my ideal quote would be something with the humor of Ellen Degeneres, the beauty of Zadie Smith, and the wisdom of Ben Franklin. Let me know if you can do a better job matching a quote to that description than google did.
Joe: Nabokov on Freud: “Let the credulous and the vulgar continue to believe that all mental woes can be cured by a daily application of old Greek myths to their private parts. I really do not care.” “I really do not care” is about the beginning and end of my opinion on psychoanalysis, too.