Mad Libs with the Miscellany

8 March 2022
By Julia Johnston

Hello Dear Readers, happy 10th week! To perk you up, we’ve assembled some literary Mad Libs for you. Not familiar with Mad Libs? Do you miss the good old days in 4th grade?

Mad Libs is a pretty quick game, for the uninitiated: essentially, we’ll give you a famous passage (bonus if you guess what book the passage is in), take out crucial words, and give you a type of word (adverb, verb, noun, etc.) to replace it with. Then you’ll create your own paragraph.

If that’s still unclear, we’ve made our own example below. Read on and enjoy!

We took this passage, from Pride and Prejudice

It is a truth ______ (adverb) acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a _____ (adjective) fortune, must be in want of a _____ (noun).

However little known the feelings or _____ (noun) of such a man may be on his first ______ (verb) of a neighborhood, this ______ (noun) is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he ______ (verb) as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” _____ (speaking verb) his lady to him one day, “have you heard that ______ (place noun) is let at last?”

Mr. Bennet ______ (speaking verb) that he had not.

“But it is,” returned she; “for _______ (woman’s name) has just been here, and she told me all about _____ (noun).”

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

And turned it into:

It is a truth gallantly acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a cantankerous fortune, must be in want of the Batmobile.

However little known the feelings or blimp of such a man may be on his first strut of a neighborhood, this sunflower is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he prances as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” bellowed his lady to him one day, “have you heard that the Batcave is let at last?”

Mr. Bennet guffaws that he had not.

“But it is,” returned she; “for Octavia has just been here, and she told me all about the boomerang.”

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

Here’s another example, with the substitutions already made (guess the passage in the comments!):

Tickle me Elmo. 14,945 years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no genie lamps in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me in Atlantis, I thought I would kiss about a little and see the lavacious part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the left femur and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the cochlea; whenever it is a damp, delicate November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily flounder before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every Kentucky Derby I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper earlobe of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliriously stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s Yeezy jackets off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for Stevie P and Allie B. With a philosophical flourish the artist formerly known as Prince throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the jetski. There is nothing morose in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the burnt husk of Chapati with me.

And, finally, a third passage, for you to fill out yourself. (Enjoy!)

It was a pleasure to ____ (verb).

It was a special pleasure to see things _____ (past tense verb), to see things _______ (past tense verb) and changed. With the ______ (adjective) nozzle in his _____ (body part), with this great ________ (animal) spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his ______ (body part), and his hands were the hands of some amazing ______ (person in an occupation) playing all the symphonies of ______ (verb) and burning to bring down the tatters and ______ (adjective) ruins of history. With his symbolic helmet numbered ______ (number) on his solid head, and his eyes all ______ (color) flame with the thought of what came next, he _______ (verb) the igniter and the house jumped up in a gorging fire that burned the _______ (adjective and noun) red and yellow and black. He strode in a swarm of _______ (plural animal). He wanted above all, like the old joke, to shove a _______ (food) on a stick in the 10 furnace, while the flapping pigeon-winged books ______ (verb) on the porch and lawn of the house. While the books went up in sparkling whirls and blew away on a wind turned dark with burning. 

______ (name) grinned the fierce grin of all men ______ (verb) and driven back by ______ (noun). 

Put your passage in the comments, if you wish. Thanks for giggling with us!

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