I’ve been mourning a FORM recently. As many bemoan the death of poetry (I would come up with others, but come on we are all just thinking about how often people are bemoaning the death of poetry), I too bemoan the death of a form!
I bemoan the listicle.
Where did it go? Just think back to the year 2014 AD: “8 Girlbosses Serving Adulting Hard!,” “56 Movies to Watch Now That You’ve Finished The Season 4 Premiere of Game of Thrones,” “22 Things Justin Actually Said In Real Life, Seriously”
Okay, that last one was real, and worth the read. I have most of it memorized.
But, I digress. Here’s the point: I miss Buzzfeed. It was fun! I loved a quiz, and frankly, I think as English majors and fanatics there is a little Buzzfeed in each of us (even you, Professors!). Which Panera order am I? Let’s find out. Tell me your movie opinions and I’ll tell you which age you’ll get married? Sign me up.
Wait, I digress again. This is a Valentine’s episode, obviously, and so you’re waiting for me to connect the statements I’ve made to both the topics of love and English Interest at Carleton. Seriously, sit back, and let me impress you because if we learn anything as English majors, it’s how to draw connections between separate works into one coherent argument.
Why let you pick your Valentine this year when I could pick for you?
I originally thought that I would write lengthy descriptions, pros and cons for various literary figures as romantic prospects, but no! The only reader-interaction you could do with that list is reading! So tired, so old! Bring on the clicks!
I set out, then, on the lengthy procedure of making a Buzzfeed Community Contributor account. I studied how to create a quiz, I studied game theory (briefly, and without aim), and finally: she was born.
TLDR: WHICH LITERARY CHARACTER SHOULD BE YOUR VALENTINE THIS YEAR?
Take at your own discretion, but your discretion should be influenced by the following factors:
- Mostly, I never looked up or researched anything about how to make this quiz (I know I said just a moment ago that I did, but I was lying!), and assigned points randomly to sway this test. If you get a result that corresponds with one of your answers, email me immediately. That would be a major shock.
- I looked up a list of “romantic literary heroes” to brainstorm for possible results but then got bored of that! There are TONS of Buzzfeed quizzes about Valentine’s and literary Valentines that I just did it totally randomly and put down any character that popped into my head. Beloved from Beloved is a Valentine option. Siddhartha is a Valentine option.
- After just two times of downloading, crediting, and uploading my own images, I immediately tired of that and used Buzzfeed’s stock image stockpile. Sometimes, those images correspond with cues I put into their search bar; often, they do not. I think there are several moss balls?
- I also almost immediately got tired of writing descriptions for why you got different answers and what it means about you, which is arguably the point of the quiz. It took me SO LONG! It was just so taxing!
Now, for the most important part of the 2LM-Reader-Response interaction: comment below who you got! What do you think about it?
I got Peeta… but I also wrote the quiz so that I would. Can you find Peeta in the picture? Comment below!
Finally, I thought it would be important to put some links below to better, more meaningfully coded quizzes:
My personal favorite is the Charactour quiz, which is a bit involved but totally worth it. It is a thorough yet palatable personality quiz which matches you very carefully with characters from literature/TV/movies to see which characters you are most like! My top three are Emma Woodhouse, Beatrice (Much Ado About Nothing), and Mike Hannigan from Friends. If sharing this feels too self-congratulatory, I will now confess in favor of combatting this offense that according to the quiz, I am also 82.5% similar to Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds. Let’s stay friends, though!
And here are some other Buzzfeed ones!
- Who should be your book boyfriend?
- Who is your literary soulmate?
- Which Jane Austen character is your soulmate?
They may be better constructed than mine, but they are certainly less silly and fun!
Signing off, and Happy Quizzing (nee Valentine’s Day!)
Second Laird Miscellany
Got Jane Eyre. However given that I clicked being a second wife, it seemed rather inevitable.
I got Mr. Rochester. I hear he locks his ladies in the attic oops...