Yes, there will be cake. At least, I think there will be cake. I know there should be cake. If there is no cake perhaps we should riot? But what, you ask, am I talking about? Where is it that we may criminally be denied cake and by whom? Read on!
Well, the cake denier (potential) is Timothy Raylor, Chair of the Department of English and scholar of Milton (who you may recall is silent on the subject of cake). The occasion for such possible denial is a party this Thursday from 5.30-7 pm in Laird 211 to welcome new English majors to Second Laird. But, I ask you, what sort of welcome will it be without cake? Why is Professor Raylor denying us cake?! Is it true that he is in the employ of the cronut lobby? The people demand answers!
But I seem to have departed from my original brief, which was to invite you to attend said welcome party. It’s going to be fun–with or without cake. Laird 211, 5-30-7 pm, this Thursday (the 17th). Be there!
Comments
When has Raylor ever been known to deny cake? What would it mean "to deny cake" anyway? And what, for that matter, is "cake"?
Not that I've anything against cronuts. But if you really want to find out whether cake will or will not be denied you'll just have to come to the party.
And whence this blatant falsehood about Milton--"silent on the subject of cake"? Your contributor appears to have forgotten the memorable recipe for an ague-cake presented in Of Reformation (1641). Perhaps that's what'll be served on Thursday afternoon?
As long as it's gluten free...
This post features two of life's great pleasures: the use of social media to bully co-workers and cake. I'm sure we can all count on Arnab to deliver plenty of the former, but will Tim deliver the latter?