There comes a time in every Laird dweller’s life when they know they’ve seen it all. They have, like the protagonist of a bildungsroman, reached the final page of their spiritual education; they have concluded the play in comedy, tragedy, or tragicomedy; they have engaged in the narrativization of infinite disparate selves over a series of episodic moments. Whether you’re a Transcendentalist or a Postmodernist, there are some things you just need to be a Carleton English major to understand. Unlike the esteemed texts that your distinguished professors have selected for you, we hope you find the following listicle #relatable.
1. When Pierre decides he wants to play games with you during the true/false portion of the exam.
2. When the essay you wrote the day of does better than the essay you spent a week carefully editing and perfecting.
3. When the wasps in Laird interrupt class and no one can focus on postmodernism with a bug flying around.
4. When Susan says something nice to you and it makes everything okay.
5. When Tuesday/Thursday classes are long and stressful, but at least there’s candy in Meggan’s office.
6. When you’ve finally taken Critical Methods and now actually know what Deconstruction means.
7. When the prof tells you to discuss in small groups and you have to play bumper cars with your desks.
8. When you’re already late for class but the two flights of stairs in Laird still announce your presence like thunder from the heavens.
9. When the prof opens the floor for discussion and everyone flips studiously through the reading so they don’t have to speak.
When you don’t hear what the prof asked because it’s nice outside for the first time in seven months.
