It’s hard out here. We know this. The pandemic, the election, climate change, the general state of the world. It’s sixth week at Carleton. And now, it is snowing in mid-October. Even for Minnesota, this is a bit much.
Nearly four years ago, I sat in the living room of new friends in a new city, surrounded by cold pizza and cold shock at the results of the 2016 presidential election. We prayed together as we dreaded the future, some amongst us already raring to go. Now, generally, comparably, things are quite a bit worse, and many of us don’t have someone immediately available to directly share in the worry. There have been good things that have happened these past years, of course, like babies being born and unions being made, but in this current moment it can be very difficult to focus on those.
Many traditions have a rationale for pain and suffering. Islamically, some include it bringing us closer to God, allowing for good to exist, and raising our esteem in the hereafter. This doesn’t mean to look for suffering, but it is good to know when it’s happening. However, when someone is in immediate, intense pain, it feels wrong to tell them to look on the bright side.
According to scientific research on happiness, when we’re in distress we lean on others to take some of the burden on for us. Ideally, these supports are strong when we are weak and vice versa. We cognitively lighten each other’s loads. Right now, however, we are collectively going through largescale pain and suffering. It feels difficult to lean on someone when you know they may be just as tired as you.
The late Fred Rogers (not to be confused with Fred Rogers of Carleton College), once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” Even today, this is true. Even right now, there are people helping. It may not be as consistent as we would like. There may be fewer available, and those who are may need more breaks, but they still exist to powerful effect.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once said, “Be hasty to do your good deeds before there will come trials and tests that will be like pieces of the darkness of the night.” These pieces of the night are akin to moments of blindness, of confusion, or being lost. Everyone’s going through it. Disproportionately, of course, let’s never forget. But if you need support, and we all do at some point or another, it’s ok to try and find a helper. They may not be as strong as they would normally be, but maybe you’ll catch them in that window before the darkness of the night. And when you find yourself in that window, maybe you can lend a shoulder of your own.
Iman Jafri
Associate Chaplain for Muslim and Interfaith Life