Kathleen (Cleary) McCulloch ’68

31 January 2000

Class: 1968

Deceased: January 29, 2000

Alumni survivors: Stephen C. Bayne, Ph.D. ’68 (Former Spouse)

Kathy Cleary/Bayne/McCulloch was a stellar person.  She braved the challenges of the first year at Carleton and decided to move to the University of Minnesota.  At the time of the Carleton Graduation, she was in the audience cheering on our class.  Just after the ceremony, I felt a tug on my robe, turned around, and got a hug from Kathy.  It was like she had never left Carleton.  I quietly whispered to her – “when are we getting married.” My brother had been in a terrible car accident on the east coast and was in a coma at home – so I quickly hurried to go home.  However, less than a month later, I arrived back in MN, without money, or a place to stay, but with a date with Kathy.  Quickly, things in our lives fell together.  I found a good local job in Bloomington, IL and an apartment in Burnsville.  We were married shortly afterwards. Thus, began the next 18 years of our marriage.   Kathy had recently finished her student teaching.  She was working part time in the record store in Dinkytown near the University.  Our lives moved through 2 more years of living and working in Minnesota, 7 years of my graduate school program in Evanston (IL), 7 years of living in our first real house in Jackson (MS) with many new friends transplanted to the heart of Dixie, and then 2 years of living in a beautiful house in Chapel Hill (NC).  We had no children despite trying – and invested heavily in playing tennis, traveling the US, and friends.  Then we came to a very acute turn in our relationship. I wanted to travel internationally as part of my job and Kathy wanted to be close to the house with local friends.  Despite our successful history, it was a crucial time to re-assess. We suddenly found ourselves different than the first “tug on the robe” and wanting different futures.  After many intense emotions, we were divorced in 1989.  We lived relatively close to each other in NC, both discovered new people, and were each remarried.  During the second year after the divorce, Kathy contracted cancer.  Despite early efforts of her doctors, she only survived for a couple of more years.  I repeat how I started my memory for you. She was an amazing person – very optimistic – committed at high levels to life – beautiful – and always smiling.  You never stop loving a person even if you officially end a relationship.  You have great memories that survive forever.  I always remember those highlights.  Each time I come back to Carleton, I remember that “tug on my robe” and those emotions come rushing back. – 12-23-2016, Steve Bayne

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  • 2016-12-23 14:45:09
    Stephen C. Bayne

    Kathy Cleary/Bayne/McCulloch was a stellar person.  She braved the challenges of the first year at Carleton and decided to move to the University of Minnesota.  At the time of the Carleton Graduation, she was in the audience cheering on our class.  Just after the ceremony, I felt a tug on my robe, turned around, and got a hug from Kathy.  It was like she had never left Carleton.  I quietly whispered to her – “when are we getting married.” My brother had been in a terrible car accident on the east coast and was in a coma at home – so I quickly hurried to go home.  However, less than a month later, I arrived back in MN, without money, or a place to stay, but with a date with Kathy.  Quickly, things in our lives fell together.  I found a good local job in Bloomington, IL and an apartment in Burnsville.  We were married shortly afterwards. Thus, began the next 18 years of our marriage.   Kathy had recently finished her student teaching.  She was working part time in the record store in Dinkytown near the University.  Our lives moved through 2 more years of living and working in Minnesota, 7 years of my graduate school program in Evanston (IL), 7 years of living in our first real house in Jackson (MS) with many new friends transplanted to the heart of Dixie, and then 2 years of living in a beautiful house in Chapel Hill (NC).  We had no children despite trying – and invested heavily in playing tennis, traveling the US, and friends.  Then we came to a very acute turn in our relationship. I wanted to travel internationally as part of my job and Kathy wanted to be close to the house with local friends.  Despite our successful history, it was a crucial time to re-assess. We suddenly found ourselves different than the first “tug on the robe” and wanting different futures.  After many intense emotions, we were divorced in 1989.  We lived relatively close to each other in NC, both discovered new people, and were each remarried.  During the second year after the divorce, Kathy contracted cancer.  Despite early efforts of her doctors, she only survived for a couple of more years.  I repeat how I started my memory for you. She was an amazing person – very optimistic – committed at high levels to life – beautiful – and always smiling.  You never stop loving a person even if you officially end a relationship.  You have great memories that survive forever.  I always remember those highlights.  Each time I come back to Carleton, I remember that “tug on my robe” and those emotions come rushing back. – 12-23-2016, Steve Bayne

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