Glenn and his wife Mia had raised two boys with autism when, in 2009, Mia met a teenager who would soon need a home. Robin (a pseudonym, for privacy) had PTSD from an abusive stepfather and a severe eating disorder. Her therapist asked Mia if she and Glenn might take Robin in. It was a big ask…and they said yes.
A lot has happened since then. Living with the McDavids and receiving treatment allowed Robin to recover from PTSD and the eating disorder.
And, what started out as a volunteer act by caring community members soon became about family. Since she was nearly eighteen when she came to live with them, the McDavids didn’t formally adopt Robin. But Glenn and Mia consider that they have three children in every way.
In 2014 Robin realized that “her” identity was male, and changed “her” name and legal gender marker accordingly. A variety of paperwork followed. Glenn couldn’t help being a little amused when a letter arrived with a return address he knew well, but had not dealt with for a long time: The United States Selective Service System. They, or at least their computers, wanted Robin to register. Glenn says, “Whatever our Carleton class thought of the Selective Service System fifty years ago, at least now they take gender transitions seriously.”
With his two older boys, Glenn had learned to take each day as it came. “When you are dealing with a lot of problems, you can only focus on so much at any one time.”
Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, an inherited connective tissue disorder, emerged in early adulthood as Robin’s main ongoing challenge. He wears a neck and a back brace when he is out and about. Despite mobility challenges and other health issues related to Ehlers-Danlos, he moved to his own place about a year ago.
“Robin is very intelligent and has learned how to advocate for himself,” Glenn says. “He recently obtained approval for a power wheelchair. Now we’re considering buying a van to accommodate it.”
Glenn and Mia help Robin with his frequent therapy appointments and other activities. Their older sons, James and Tom, readily accepted Robin as a family member; James, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, lives at home and Tom, who is severely autistic and nonverbal, is in a group home.
Robin is currently exploring options for college education. The growth in remote learning opportunities in the Covid world is giving him more options.
All in all, it’s a remarkable community story about what people with big hearts do when they are asked to help.