On Making Friends During NSW

Fun fact: the majority of students at Carleton College are out of state. This means that the majority of students here are many miles – anywhere from hundreds to thousands – away from their families and friends to a place where they may not know anyone. 

That’s exactly the position I was in about a week ago. I traveled from Colorado to Minnesota with my parents and I did not have a single clue on how I would fare in a place where I didn’t have my normal support systems.

Thankfully, I didn’t have much to worry about. Carleton’s New Student Week programming (NSW) makes it very easy for students to make friends and community within days (even people who were shy in high school!) However, it does take work so I wanted to give some ideas for how to create community in a new place.

Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to strangers

Everyone is new at Carleton and everybody is looking for connections and to find their place on campus. Just about everyone will be super receptive if you just go up and introduce yourself and ask them a couple questions to get to know each other. Talk to as many people as possible because not only will you maybe get some new friends, you will start to discover that so many students on campus are ridiculously cool.

You may be lonely sometimes. That’s Okay.

Think about it: we are leaving the support systems that we may have had for years to a place where we may not know anybody. And when you do start to meet new people, they’re just that: new. It can take a while to get comfortable with new people and so until you are, it may get a little lonely. Just know that you’re not alone in that feeling. What helped me with that feeling was by figuring out how to brighten other people’s day. Walk around campus and compliment someone’s awesome sense of style (I promise you will find a lot of people here with that!) or if someone is struggling to carry packages from Sayles, help them get them to their dorm. You may even make a friend or two in the process, but either way, putting good into the world can make you feel connected.

Fake it until you make it

Cliché take, I know. I bet you could probably find another blogger even on this website who has already said it but I’ll say it again. In high school, I was incredibly shy around most people. Making friends was challenging for me because I didn’t dare to try to talk to new people about more than academics. I decided that it would be different here. Even when I was feeling super uncomfortable, I would try my best to put on a smile and talk to someone who I didn’t know very well because there was a very good chance that they would want to talk to me too. Putting yourself out there can be difficult but listen to this PSA: YOU WILL BE OKAY. Even if you mess up, YOU WILL BE OKAY. Even if you do something embarrassing, YOU WILL BE OKAY. So just do it! You have everything to gain!

Be alone sometimes

I know, I know, it sounds counterintuitive. How are you going to make friends while on your own? However, it’s the same idea as taking a break from studying to help you study better for the future. Everyone needs to rest and recharge at some point so make sure that you take the time you need to be your best. For me, that meant getting in a run or reading a book outside. If you remind yourself who you are without your friends or family, you can be more yourself when you’re with everyone else. Take it from Kelly Clarkson: you don’t have to be lonely when you’re alone. Being alone with yourself more often can help you learn that.

Take advantage of every opportunity NSW has to offer

My NSW leaders will be happy with this one (shoutout to Linnea and Ethan!) So far some of my closest connections have been in my NSW group. Some of the activities that they have you do may seem somewhat silly or boring but they bond the group together throughout the week before class starts. Go along with the programming and show up with a good attitude and you’ll get out everything that you should. 

In conclusion…

NSW can be very busy and it can get overwhelming or lonely or crazy at times as you’re transitioning into a whole new environment. However if you take a chance to meet someone new, take a second to yourself, take a chance on new student week programming, and take a chance on yourself, it will be very easy to make a community here and you may even be able to start to call Carleton home.