In Silence: A Reflection on Time Spent Alone

Winter Break Plans
I stayed on campus during the break. Ghana is too far, and the cost of travel is beyond my means—both of which feel like valid reasons in their own right. Watching my peers leave was not the best experience, but the hardest part was the final days of class, when after the brief goodbyes, most of my friends asked the heart-wrenching question of where I would be staying. I found myself announcing for the twelfth time that day that I was staying on campus. That was truly the worst moment, though I tried to hide it. Or at least I like to think my expressions were subtle enough that they didn’t realize how terrible I felt about the cold weather. Among my many plans, the phrase “making the most of my time” became my mantra for the break, serving as a shield against unnecessary overthinking. Was that even a success?

Measuring My Success
If success in my case were measured solely by new adventures, then I would say the break was a resounding success. I worked at the ITS Helpdesk, and it was as enjoyable as it could be. Each day offered new opportunities to learn, perfectly aligning with my mantra for the break. ITS welcomed me back and gave me a glimpse into one of its popular departments, the Knowledge Base Team, where I was introduced to writing and publishing IT articles. I also assisted a faculty member with a Wi-Fi survey, using a device to pick up signals across campus buildings and analyze the data with software. This experience was particularly enjoyable—mention a room in a residential building, and I could say I had been there.

While I thought I was merely keeping busy to distract my mind, I realized that I was actually giving my life new meaning. I had never engaged with so many people in such a short time before.

I recognized that I hadn’t taken the opportunity to know others during the fall term because I was too caught up in my personal struggles of adapting to this new environment—perhaps not a bad thing, technically. However, it was surprisingly fulfilling to realize how meaningful life can be when you understand that you are not alone. Making the most of life and time wasn’t just about doing a lot; it meant engaging more with others and recognizing that I share this world with many.

In those moments of cold silence, I came to value the small interactions—those brief lunch breaks with a dear friend, the personal stories shared during work breaks, and the appreciation I felt when others acknowledged my presence and invited me to join them, even for something as simple as sitting at a dining table together. While I may have been successful in accomplishing many tasks, those moments did not erase my thoughts or self-reflections. In fact, I would consider that a success too. At the end of the day, I rediscovered a forgotten part of myself, buried deep within the cold of staying over, and I heard myself better in the silence.

Agnes (she/her) comes from Ghana. While it might seem like a faraway land, the strong sense of community, the incredibly kind people, and the enormous number of trees at Carleton make her feel at home. Her love for science stems from her fascination with nature, as science finds an interesting way to explain the natural world. She is a member of the FOCUS Program.  When she’s not writing, dancing, or singing behind closed doors, you can probably find her engaged in conversation somewhere. She likes to spend time researching medical school and life beyond; that should tell you about her great interest in pre-med. While she continues to explore her interests, she has discovered a great interest for Biology, Chemistry, and CAMS classes at Carleton.