Advice to My Freshman Self

Adjustment to college can have a lot of ups and downs, but I truly loved my freshman year at Carleton. There will always be a special place in my heart for my freshman fall term, both the good and the bad – I still feel nostalgic when I take DayQuil (the freshman flu is real). Still, there’s a lot of things I would do differently. As I will now be entering my junior year at Carleton, here’s some advice I would give to my freshman self when she was just starting college. 

1. You’re not going to find “your people” immediately

You’re desperate for friends when you get to college, I know. You want to make those easy connections right away, to have people to eat meals with, to study with, to hang out and go to different events with. Relax a little – everyone’s in the same boat. Familiarity and genuine friendship comes with time and effort to get to know someone; a best friend won’t magically appear out of nowhere. It’s okay if you don’t know if the people you’re hanging out with are “your people” yet – you barely even know them! 

And stop comparing yourself to others. Some people might look like they have it all together and already have the college friend group of your dreams, but they probably don’t. They might not even like the people they’re hanging out with that much. Give it some time; you’re going to meet SO MANY people in college and you will find the people you click with. 

2. It’s okay to spend time alone 

You don’t need to pressure yourself into hanging out with people when you’re exhausted from socializing all day. Seriously, take a break and recharge and don’t feel guilty about it. You’re not a social machine (you’re an introvert, actually). Spending a night alone in the dorm doesn’t mean you’re missing out; I promise every single person on the campus is not out having fun without you. 

And don’t feel insecure studying alone in the library when you see people working together. Did you also look for the people who were studying alone, or were you just trying to make yourself feel bad? Studying alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely or that you have no friends (oftentimes it means you’re actually going to get work done), and that goes for eating lunch alone, too. I promise you: nobody is looking at you or judging you. Now, you LOVE your lunches alone and look forward to your alone time. When you’re booked from the morning until the evening, a day where your lunch schedule doesn’t align with any of your friends’ means you get a good thirty minutes to yourself to just exist: relax and recharge! 

3. Go to office hours 

“I feel like I don’t really know my professors like I thought I would” – have you gone to office hours? Your professors are so happy to meet you and learn about you as a person, not just as a student. The best way to make these connections is to go to office hours! That one story you read in class that you really enjoyed? Talk to them about it! The day you felt really lost and incompetent compared to the rest of your classmates? Confide in them! The desire to know how your professor came to obtain so much wisdom and knowledge in what they do? Ask them about it! Or just go in and say hi, seriously. They actually want you to. Tell them why you signed up for their class and what you’re excited about. Literally anything. You will feel more supported and stable in the class, they’ll give you more grace for deadlines and extensions, and you’ll enjoy your time in that class so much more. I know it sounds scary, but just do it. It’s worth it. 

4. Just get on the waitlist 

I get it, it’s anxiety-inducing to have uncertainty in your schedule. But at least register for the waitlist even if you’re not going to take the class. It’s completely possible to get off waitlists as a freshman. There’s so much movement in the first week of classes as people drop classes and register for new ones, so spots will open up naturally. If you email the professor about your interest in their class and show up on the first day (yes, even while you’re still on the waitlist), a lot of times they’ll register you themselves if they have the space to do so. Don’t limit yourself to only the classes that are still open (though having to take a “random” class is a great way to try something new that you’d never try otherwise!). 

5. Don’t skip your vitamins… 

Don’t be paranoid, but be diligent. Take so much vitamin C, take zinc(!!), and also make sure you’re drinking water, especially when you know people around you are getting sick. Electrolytes are also great for optimal hydration. The freshman flu might just be impossible to avoid, but you can do what you can to reduce your symptoms. 

The excitement I had for starting college was one of the best feelings, but feeling anxious, homesick, or lost sometimes is also completely normal. Give yourself grace; moving to an entirely new environment with new people is a lot. Just remember that you’re not going through it alone, and there are so many people on campus to support you. Everyone’s adjustment to college will look a little different, and the only way to do it “wrong” is by not trying to adjust at all – it’s going to be okay!

Ellie (she/her) is a rising junior psychology major and Spanish minor from Apple Valley, Minnesota. Outside of classes, she spends a majority of her time singing in choir and a cappella, running in circles around the track, and hanging out in the chapel. She loves Carleton for the close community and pretty campus (especially in the fall!). When she’s not running or singing, you can find her at a bench around campus soaking in the sunshine.