A Farewell to the Summer Season (For Now) – Lady Whistledown (Muhammad Abdullah)

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all good things must eventually come to an end, though this Author finds such platitudes terribly tedious. As the warm summer sun begins to dip lower over the Bald Spot and the crisp Midwestern autumn threatens to make its grand debut, it seems the time has come to conclude this season’s social sheet.

What a scandalously delightful season it has been! We have promenaded together through the balmy summer days of Northfield, navigated the carriage routes to the bustling Twin Cities, and chronicled my very own voyage from across the pond to become an international scholar at this esteemed estate. I have spilled the tea on how to make the absolute most of your college experience, and you, dear reader, have devoured every word.

But alas, the hour of parting is upon us, and I find myself with a rather extensive list of acknowledgments to make before I stow away my quill.

To the eager debutantes and dashing suitors I have had the pleasure of guiding on campus tours, thank you. Your wide eyed wonder and relentless questions about dining hall food brought this author endless entertainment.

To the brave souls who sat before me for interviews, you navigated the interrogation with the grace of a seasoned duke at a high society ball. I applaud your composure.

To the formidable matchmakers of the Admissions Office, Hollys Lake and Olson, David, Aimee, Jorge, Chris, Gladys, Christene, Ovini, Phyllis, Jadyn, Anna, Cal, Naidine, Adam, and finally Art, you are the true diamonds of this Ton and every season. Thank you for entrusting this Author with the sacred duty of sharing Carleton’s most vibrant gossip and glorious truths. Your tireless work behind the scenes does not go unnoticed.

And to this author’s fellow student workers, you all deserve the most immense of praise. Let it be known that in the eyes of this author, you are all higher in status and worthy of far more respect than the most flawless diamond this ton has ever seen.

To Lady Stumbo of Apple Valley, this author appreciated every tour shared with you. They were overflowing with delightful fun and the most scandalous of whispers, and dare I say, what is life without a little gossip?

A most special commendation must be directed toward Lady Stumbo, who has blossomed into a true and unparalleled friend to this author. The pairing of our talents upon the touring grounds has been nothing short of the season’s greatest triumph! I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment working by your side, particularly our shared brilliance in bestowing the most amusing and clever monikers upon our tour groups behind closed doors. We are, indeed, a formidable match.

To Ladies Waheed, Margarito, and Tian, the mingles I attended in your esteemed company sparkled brighter and proved far more exhilarating than any grand ball hosted by Northfield society.

And finally, to Lord Yao, your tour guide introduction remains an absolute triumph. Indeed, your opening remarks have been the talk of the ton for decades and shall not soon be forgotten.

Now, before you reach for your lace handkerchiefs and weep at my departure, you must know that I am not retiring from society entirely. Oh, quite the contrary. This Author is merely trading her admissions tour megaphone for a new, highly influential title.

When the fall term commences, I shall officially assume the role of Resident Assistant.

Yes, gentle reader, you heard it here first. I shall be the one patrolling the corridors, orchestrating floor meetings, distributing door decorations, and keeping a watchful eye over my residents. If you thought my gaze was piercing before, just wait until I am entrusted with a master key and a bulletin board.

So, wipe those tears, for this goodbye is certainly not forever. This Author may very well resurface when the winter snows blanket the campus, or perhaps when the summer breeze returns to Northfield next year. Until then, I suggest you keep your wits sharp and your social calendars full.

Be good, make glorious memories, and remember that someone is always watching.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown (One Last Time…. NOT Muhammad Abdullah)

Meet Muhammad Abdullah (he/him), a rising sophomore from Islamabad, Pakistan, who is successfully bridging the gap between Studio Art and Mathematics. If you wander into Boliou Hall, you’ll likely find him crafting giant, life-sized 3D sculptures or just daydreaming about what everyday objects look like in higher dimensions. 
Outside of academics, Abdullah stays busy. He’s a campus RA who loves meeting new people, a dancer with various dance groups, and an avid baker currently trying to eat his way through every single restaurant in Northfield. 
Abdullah is also Carleton’s unofficial trivia captain; if you ever want to know the coolest secret facts about campus, he’s exactly who you should ask.